thesis - the chapter which can't be move (the scripsi)

ternyata, mengumpulkan niat membuat skripsi sangat sulit. lebih mudah mendengar lagu the script pastinya!

uh lelahnyo, seharian buat skripsi.. ditemani semua makanan yang lebih banyak masuknya daripada keluarnya..

beda dengan isi dompet yang lebih banyak keluarnya daripada masuknya!

yayaya! ga lucu, saya tau..

spt biasa dan sangat biasa, blog adalah tempat curhat-curhat saya baik yang berkualitas maupun kurang berkualitas bahkan sangat tidak berkualitas..

harap maklum!

We are fighting together..

me, now, time and all the things that i may have to pass..

you, now, time and all the things that you may have to pass..

me, thesis, career, my ministry, and all the things I have to fighting for..

you, osce, co-ass, specialist, your ministry, and all the things you have to fighting for..

this time, we face our mountains..

but, I don't wanna lose faith..

I just want to fighting, together. In the different place, but with the same purpose.

to meet again..
to be happy..
to live up!

gabriel, we have a strong hands carry on us! just don't worry about that!

redouble our faith! yay!

Inilah Dia.. PAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~

Pagi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pagi ini saya sangat bersukacita, entah kenapa.. Padahal kemarin terjadi hal yang HARUSNYA membuat saya galau seharian.

But, THIS IS MY YEAR. I don't wanna let it slip by! I wanna enjoy every day with my Jesus.

taun ini saya berjanji, apapun yang terjadi saya mau tetap bilang.

God is my source
He is the source of JOY
Source of bless
Source of my EVERYTHING..

dan saya telah membuktikan, bahkan ketika saya hampir kehilangan orang yang paling saya sayangi, saya mungkin memang menangis.. Tapi ga lama, saya kemudian sadar..

He is not my everything. God is my everything!!

saya tetap berdoa, menikmati kehadiran Tuhan di hati saya..

Dia membawa saya lebih dekat bahkan bersukacita ketika ada masalah yang besar/

saya tau sekali, ketika saya bersukacita.. Saya sedang menyukakan Tuhan..

keluaran 13:9b "supaya hukum Tuhan ada di bibirmu; "Sebab dengan tangan Tuhan yang kuat Tuhan telah membawa engkau keluar dari Mesir."

suatu hari, dengan menangis terharu saya akan menyatakan ayat di atas, sebab terlalu banyak hal yang Tuhan kerjakan dalam hidup aku.

Tuhan membawa aku seperti Daud yang terlebih dahulu menghadapi singa-singa buas di padang belantara untuk pada akhirnya menghadapi seorang Goliat!

Saya percaya, dan teramat percaya bahwa Daud dlm segala hal yang dia hadapi terus mengandalkan Tuhan. Saya pun mau seperti Daud!

dan saya tau juga, hari-hari ini saya sedang berjalan dari Mesir ke Kanaan. Perjalanan merendahkan diri.

Mengandalkan Tuhan di setiap langkah yang saya ambil..

Yes, because life is a game! You must fight, level up, survive and enjoy the game! :) don't be too serious! YAY!!

butterflies in my tummy! ._.

i have butterflies flying
around inside my tummy
when i’m with you

i hear bellchimes ringing
blown by wind of spring
when i’m with you

oh this tingling feeling
makes me wanna jump
makes me wanna shout
across the room

oh this feeling of longing
but damn it’s so blinding
i just can’t tell
if i feel happy or sad

i heard blue birds
singing up around the tree
when I’m with you

i see rainbows appearing
everywhere i go
when i’m with you..

-schatj story-

You are the sweetest God..

semenjak saya kenal dengan orang ini, saya dibawa semakin intim sama Tuhan. bukan karena dia seorang pastor, saya udah tau juga jelek2nya dia.. tapi memang karena dia membuat saya mencintai Tuhan Yesus lebih dari mencintai dia.. cinta yang saya punya ga jadi egois, ga merenggut waktu intim saya bersama Tuhan, dan bahkan ketika saya menghadapi masalah saya selalu ingin mencari Yesus ketimbang menghubungi dia. then, i will call him.. later!haha

dia bukan orang sempurna..

tp saya liat dia begitu gigih berjuang demi Tuhan yang dia cintai, dan itulah passion yang saya ingin tanamkan dalam diri saya sendiri.

dan, Dia adalah baik..

Karakternya tidak berubah karena keadaan..

Kesulitan tidak bisa menghentikan manisnya cinta Tuhan pada saya..

dan akhirnya, saya mau katakan..

Yesuslah yang termanis, Engkau membuat saya semakin dalam terjun ke dalam cintamu.. yang sekalipun dalam gelombang saya masih bisa tersenyum bahagia..

Thank you my sweetest Jesus..

ILYSM <3

words from my heart..

something depressed me these few days , its because i’m feeling so worry , even till now . cause i just can’t find the reason why this is happened to me , i don’t know the point of smiling , and i can’t figure out what must i do just to be the usual me..

we used to be so close , now we’re just far apart..


you said that I'll find someone better than you, but how can I find another one when I still want you?
what’s wrong with you ? what’s wrong with me ? what’s wrong with us ?

i don't know, i don't wanna ask God too...

we have a "big" problem now, but i feel so tremble about not because of the problem. but because why you don't fight for me.. u said, "we will do this together" but now you seems like wanna leaving me. oh, i hope this is just my assumption.

I'm sad, sometimes I just wish my love life is simpler.

hmm.. you still contact me.. i know we're in love but you ask "why i must born first, why this, why that." love is not about perfect couple being together, its about 2 imperfect people who decide to love each other. so simple rite? why must be so complicated.

but, im so proud of me too in the same time because i know i just take a best respond for my mountains. i say to you MOUNTAINS, I have a big GOD. i know i can pass this through..

the resume is, im still waiting for the best time! I know His ways are more than my way! His plans bigger than my plans! why i must be afraid.

on the other side , i won’t ever let you go , cause i really love you , and its really that much .

the last thing i wanna say is that , i miss you , i need you , and i love you . these 3 things made up my lonely days without you , and it will be nice of me to hear you say that you miss me , need me , and love me too..

nb : If we're meant to be together, we'll find a way.

It's just your feeling boo :)

You know what's real problem with this world? It's not from outside. It's from inside. A problem is not a problem until the inside of you makes it a problem. Some things like stress, worry, and anxiety. It's all from the inside. It comes from your feeling!

Do you ever feel like everything is not gonna be okay although nothing bad happens? Are you ever so afraid that bad things are gonna happen when everything is just okay? Or, sometimes there's only a very small problem but you take it as a big problem and it makes you stressed? If your answer is yes, sometimes I feel that way, too. However, after I think again about it, actually it's just a feeling.Your feeling makes every thing a problem. It is something inside you that always tries to affect your emotion, and in the end it makes you feel stressed or worry.

The truth is, feeling is something inside you that always tries to let you bother every single thing in your life, so everything looks complicated.

Don't you think it's very funny when your feeling always "plays" you? You can be happy, then sad, then suddenly happy again, and then suddenly sad again. It's natural. Everyone has feeling. But, you should not rely on it. Your feeling is not your boss. Don't let everything depend on it because it's not always right.

The thing is, feelings are soft. It's fragile. If you keep saying yes to your feeling, it's very easy to bring you down. It's true that feeling can make people happy too. Happiness is also a feeling. But, everyone has problems. Feeling is more likely to lead people to bad thoughts than the good ones. When there's nothing bad really happens, your feeling will try to tell you "What if tomorrow something bad happens?" And when there's only a small problem, your feeling will tell you "It's not small. You should not take it easy. It's gonna be worse if you don't do this or do that." I can say that your feeling always tries to "bully" you.

Sometimes everything is just okay, but your feeling makes it dramatic, then you become worry.

So, one thing you can do is to stop letting your feeling make your life a mess. Start to be relax in thinking and making decision. Use a right attitude to lead your act. It's not your circumstance or things around you that you should control. It's the inside of you, because a problem is not a problem until the inside of you takes it as a problem.

Don't let your feeling tell you that it's not okay when everything is just okay. Learn to control your feeling and not be controlled by it. It's you who should control your feeling, not your feeling who controls you.

If I write your name..

if i write your name on the sand — the sea will wash it away .
if i write your name on the water — no one can ever see it , cause it fades away in fraction of seconds .
if i write your name on the air — it won’t stay there , it fades away just too soon .
if i write your name on the wall — it can be repainted , it’ll no longer seen .
if i write your name on the stars — i won’t see you during the day .
if i write your name on a piece of paper — it can be torn apart , it can be scribbled , destroyed , and all .
if i write your name on a black board — it can be erased too easily .
if i write your name on a white board — it’ll eventually be erased , even when i used a permanent marker .

if i write your name in my brain — i will always think bout you , it won’t ever disappear .

if i write your name in my heart — i will always love you , you’ll be safe in my heart .

LOVE is YOU

<3

what is love ?

some people say its a magic
the others say its an illusion

some people say its a pure happiness
the others say its just a pure pain

some people say its everything
the others say its nothing

some people say its a game
the others say it isn’t

some people say its a fortune
the others say it isn’t

some people say its a pure feeling
the others say its just lust

some people say its a sweet dream
the others say its a nightmare

some people say its sweet
the others say its bitter

some people and the others may say everything bout love , but i have the simplest definition for it .

i say :
love is you