words from my heart..

something depressed me these few days , its because i’m feeling so worry , even till now . cause i just can’t find the reason why this is happened to me , i don’t know the point of smiling , and i can’t figure out what must i do just to be the usual me..

we used to be so close , now we’re just far apart..


you said that I'll find someone better than you, but how can I find another one when I still want you?
what’s wrong with you ? what’s wrong with me ? what’s wrong with us ?

i don't know, i don't wanna ask God too...

we have a "big" problem now, but i feel so tremble about not because of the problem. but because why you don't fight for me.. u said, "we will do this together" but now you seems like wanna leaving me. oh, i hope this is just my assumption.

I'm sad, sometimes I just wish my love life is simpler.

hmm.. you still contact me.. i know we're in love but you ask "why i must born first, why this, why that." love is not about perfect couple being together, its about 2 imperfect people who decide to love each other. so simple rite? why must be so complicated.

but, im so proud of me too in the same time because i know i just take a best respond for my mountains. i say to you MOUNTAINS, I have a big GOD. i know i can pass this through..

the resume is, im still waiting for the best time! I know His ways are more than my way! His plans bigger than my plans! why i must be afraid.

on the other side , i won’t ever let you go , cause i really love you , and its really that much .

the last thing i wanna say is that , i miss you , i need you , and i love you . these 3 things made up my lonely days without you , and it will be nice of me to hear you say that you miss me , need me , and love me too..

nb : If we're meant to be together, we'll find a way.

It's just your feeling boo :)

You know what's real problem with this world? It's not from outside. It's from inside. A problem is not a problem until the inside of you makes it a problem. Some things like stress, worry, and anxiety. It's all from the inside. It comes from your feeling!

Do you ever feel like everything is not gonna be okay although nothing bad happens? Are you ever so afraid that bad things are gonna happen when everything is just okay? Or, sometimes there's only a very small problem but you take it as a big problem and it makes you stressed? If your answer is yes, sometimes I feel that way, too. However, after I think again about it, actually it's just a feeling.Your feeling makes every thing a problem. It is something inside you that always tries to affect your emotion, and in the end it makes you feel stressed or worry.

The truth is, feeling is something inside you that always tries to let you bother every single thing in your life, so everything looks complicated.

Don't you think it's very funny when your feeling always "plays" you? You can be happy, then sad, then suddenly happy again, and then suddenly sad again. It's natural. Everyone has feeling. But, you should not rely on it. Your feeling is not your boss. Don't let everything depend on it because it's not always right.

The thing is, feelings are soft. It's fragile. If you keep saying yes to your feeling, it's very easy to bring you down. It's true that feeling can make people happy too. Happiness is also a feeling. But, everyone has problems. Feeling is more likely to lead people to bad thoughts than the good ones. When there's nothing bad really happens, your feeling will try to tell you "What if tomorrow something bad happens?" And when there's only a small problem, your feeling will tell you "It's not small. You should not take it easy. It's gonna be worse if you don't do this or do that." I can say that your feeling always tries to "bully" you.

Sometimes everything is just okay, but your feeling makes it dramatic, then you become worry.

So, one thing you can do is to stop letting your feeling make your life a mess. Start to be relax in thinking and making decision. Use a right attitude to lead your act. It's not your circumstance or things around you that you should control. It's the inside of you, because a problem is not a problem until the inside of you takes it as a problem.

Don't let your feeling tell you that it's not okay when everything is just okay. Learn to control your feeling and not be controlled by it. It's you who should control your feeling, not your feeling who controls you.

If I write your name..

if i write your name on the sand — the sea will wash it away .
if i write your name on the water — no one can ever see it , cause it fades away in fraction of seconds .
if i write your name on the air — it won’t stay there , it fades away just too soon .
if i write your name on the wall — it can be repainted , it’ll no longer seen .
if i write your name on the stars — i won’t see you during the day .
if i write your name on a piece of paper — it can be torn apart , it can be scribbled , destroyed , and all .
if i write your name on a black board — it can be erased too easily .
if i write your name on a white board — it’ll eventually be erased , even when i used a permanent marker .

if i write your name in my brain — i will always think bout you , it won’t ever disappear .

if i write your name in my heart — i will always love you , you’ll be safe in my heart .

LOVE is YOU

<3

what is love ?

some people say its a magic
the others say its an illusion

some people say its a pure happiness
the others say its just a pure pain

some people say its everything
the others say its nothing

some people say its a game
the others say it isn’t

some people say its a fortune
the others say it isn’t

some people say its a pure feeling
the others say its just lust

some people say its a sweet dream
the others say its a nightmare

some people say its sweet
the others say its bitter

some people and the others may say everything bout love , but i have the simplest definition for it .

i say :
love is you

DECEMBER!

alohaaaaaaaa~ this is the mid of December. My fave month of course! bulan penuh keajaiban!

:p

penuh mimpi.
dibulan ini saya kembali menemukan kekuatan saya! kekuatan penuh untuk berjalan tanpa melihat setiap nightmare yang ada.

seneng banget rasanya!
selalu bersemangat setiap pagi.
kuncinya ya karena saya sudah breakthrough dan membenahi mezbah doa saya.
ini semua berkat the only one angel in my life!

he is gabriel.
my messenger ..

tapi saya tau semua ini karya Tuhan.

mulai dari Paris..

sampai pada akhirnya saya bisa bertemu lagi dengan messenger saya! semua cuma karena karya Tuhan!

hahaha
i wont expect messenger too much
but i will give my big expectation only for Him! my only father who knows the best for me

:p

melodies of life

Melodies of Life

Alone for a while I’ve been searching through the dark,
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart,
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain,
Melodies of life - love’s lost refrain.

Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why.
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye.
And who’ll hear the echoes of stories never told ?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold.

In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me.
Though you’re gone, I still believe that you can call out my name.

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds - forever and beyond.

So far and away, see the birds as it flies by.
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky.
I’ve laid my memories and dreams upon those wings.
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings.

In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me ?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leave me behind ?

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying bird - forever and on.

If I should leave this lonely world behind,
Your voice will still remember our melody.
Now I know we’ll carry on.
Melodies of life,
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts, as long as we remember.

a letter to you

dear you ,

i spend some time to write bout my feelings to you as i can never say it out loud . wish i can by the way , but , no . i just don’t have that simple courage to tell you bout this feelings that keep me up day and night , thinking bout you .

i hate myself to know that i’m so coward , but this is me , i can’t blame myself for being me . well , i’ll let you know this . i fell for you from the first time i saw you , from then , i believe that you’re the only one i wanna spend the rest of my life with . oh , i wish it can be true .

all i can think bout is you , all i wanna be is with you , all my smile is because of you , all my life’s dedicated to you . too bad you never know it , i don’t think you ever know me also .

must i keep this feelings or should i just throw it far far away ? i can’t decide . i’m hurting myself by loving you , i’m killing myself by leaving you .

anyway , the conclusion is , i love you . that’s all .

and i still can’t find the courage to give you this letter , so , i’ll just scrap it and throw it away .

much love ,
me